Hey, if you're going to drink for the first time, you might as well go all the way to party town.
Comedian Drew Droege (barely) remembers the first night he ever got drunk, when he and his friend got their hands on a “really cheap” bottle of vodka courtesy of an older cousin. He tells the tale to First Fails, in collaboration with Mashable.
Drew decided, "We’re drinking this" and so they did. What followed involved what usually follows when you down a bottle of nasty vodka.
"We headed to a football game...and mixed it with ruby red grapefruit juice in these giant moose cups," he explains, adding that he got so drunk so quickly, he doesn't even remember kickoff.
"I hugged a police officer," he says. "I ended up under a car."
Drew was so inebriated that his friend had to stop drinking in order to babysit him. When he started throwing up on the side of the road, they told his Aunt Liz (their chaperone) he was just sick. Aunt Liz wasn't buying it.
He got home to find his parents throwing a dinner party, which he interrupted with “guns blazing.”
In the morning, both his parents greeted him with coffee, asking if he was on drugs.
As punishment, they made him plant shubs in the yard with a massive hangover, which he says, to this day, are lined up completely crooked.
The good news? Drew can still drink vodka. He just can't look at ruby red grapefruit juice.
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